I've ben suffering with an infected tooth - the root actually. I woke up with a swelling on my lower left jaw on Saturday and no amount of Advil would touch the pain. I went up the hospital (which is now really just a clinic in this tiny town where I live) and was reprimanded for the amount I took over night - 12 to be exact within an 8 hour period. She gave me a prescription and 10 Percocet for the pain. Hey! I must be a movie star with drugs like this, I thought. To tell you the truth the Percocet didn't do too much but was better than the Advil. I get the tooth pulled tomorrow. My second tooth yanked this winter. At this rate I'll be toothless by the time I'm divorced. Just kidding. Both teeth are way in the back of my mouth and no matter how huge I smile you can't see them. It just makes chewing a little weird.
One thing about all these dental issues I've been having lately - stress attacks your weakest point, some people get zits, some people get colds or flu, I get toothaches - is that it takes my mind off all the other issues. The house has been shown a few times recently but no bites. We are lowering the price by $10,000 hoping that will help. I'm not panicking. I know my stars are inching their way into place and I'm just going to let them inch. My mom told me awhile ago not to fight the bad stuff. Accept the good and the bad equally because it all has to happen in a certain order. I believe this. And so, through all my money problems and my dental issues and the stress of not really knowing where to go or what to do, I'm pretty relaxed. I sleep okay. I have a very strong sense that if I just go with the flow that eventually my life will be, maybe not exactly as I picture my perfect life, maybe it will be better, but most probably it will be different. And this is exciting. I'm ready for a new adventure because I didn't really like the last one. The past 20 years have been hard and not that I need it easy I just want it to be nicer.
This new painting is called Reflection, Three Quarter Moon. It came from a photo my daughter took and I just had to do it for whatever reason. I like it. It's calming. As though the whole world is asleep and everything is very quietly resting, getting ready for something fabulous.

Working on my figurative painting for the exhibit in March. Nearly done. I have my third painting completed and will post it later today when I get the photo printed.
Some more interest in the house lately. A few showings and some calls about the lot. It sure will be nice to get this place out of our hair. But, as long as things progress the way they have been and the plan continues, we won't be able to move to Calgary until summer when the kids get out of school so if the house goes before July I don't know where we'll live. But I don't want to think about that right now. I'll think about that another day.
Oh yeah. I emailed Grant Leier. He has kindly offered to critique my art and give me some direction and tips on marketing. What a nice break. I'm so happy and excited about this but also feeling scared. His paintings (and his wife Nixie Barton's paintings) are so ...well...successful. Mine just don't compare. But thank goodness art is subjective. Look at Jackson Pollock's drips. They are nothing, really, but a big mess and I love them and so do hundreds of other people. Rich people. One of his paintings sold for the most amount of money a painting has ever sold for. Millions of dollars. More than the most expensive Picasso. So don't worry about it, I keep telling myself. One day I will find my own personal Peggy Guggenheim to take me under her/his wing and get my art career going. Yeehawwww!!!!

Here are my first two paintings. The top one called "Toward the Light" was inspired by the Group of Seven exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery - in keeping with my birch tree theme. The second is a more abstract style I've been working on over the past couple of years with thick blobs of pure color and some drips in metalic platinum.

I like both but I'm becoming more drawn to the second painting as my life is so chaotic right now it really speaks to me. I really want a better job, one that pays well and with better hours - preferably daylight hours. There's little work around here. The employment help centre in town has job postings such as The Liquor Barn and I just can't bring myself to do that. Anyway, something will turn up if I keep looking.

A very nice friend of mine has purchased for me a membership in the local art group so that I can display my stuff in their gallery. I've had my work in there a few times before and not sold a thing - neither did anyone one esle (painters anyway). But it doesn't hurt to try again. The next exhibit is called "Go Figure" so this week I'll be working on a figurative painting. The exhibit is in March but I might as well get it done while I have a canvas. It's my last canvas and until I get a better job the moola is pretty tight around this place. It sure would be nice to get this house sold. My sister in Calgary has suggested the kids and I move there to be with her. I am very interested as it's a whole lot better in Calgarry economy-wise, it would be great to be close to my family for a change, and they have a great art scene there. Also a lot of culture and people with oil money. (Not mention getting the hell of this island and getting away from someone, who in fact just walked in my office without knocking and when he saw me typing on my computer asked if I was writing to my lover. Whatever.) But there are a few challenges that need to be faced first.

My birthday came and went without much hoopla. I was called into work on the eve and didn't get home until 5:00 AM. My poor patient son with whom I share a birthday, was expecting to do something fun and I was too tired after working all night.

Good news! A couple of great friends bought me canvases and another great friend took me on a fun day in Vancouver on Saturday. We spent hours at the Vancouver Art Gallery in the Group of Seven exhibit and I was blown away. Of course I have studied their art in books but to see it for real was WONDERFUL. I was so inspired by Lawren Harris' work that the next morning I got busy on the first of my 52 paintings. I am continuing with my birch tree theme - I've been painting birch trees for about a year and a half - and this time I'm including a beautiful background of sky, mountain, and light done in smooth strokes reminiscent of Mr. Harris' landscapes. The trees, of course, are done in my own true lumpy -bumpy, thick- paint style. I just really want to see that smooth, sharpness in the background and experiment in using more light coming from the sky. We'll see how it works for me soon.

One particularly interesting thing I realized while I was at VAT was that these famous works of art were not necessarily "better" than mine or more "professional". Whatever that means anyway because art is so subjective there really is no better or worse when it comes to art. But to me these paintings looked and felt as though they were executed with total confidence. Even if something was a bit "funky" or "wonky" the artist allowed it to be that way and carried on. That is what I am promising myself. No rubbing out of wiping off or painting over. I will just allow myself to paint and feel confident in what appears. I have to admit that I have gone back to the way I was painting a few years ago with more traditional themes. A couple of summers ago I was pushing myself to paint with a more modern edge, experimenting with abstract patterns and drips. With little success.
I really tried to notice in VAT what I was attracted to as a viewer of art instead as an artist and I was definately more attracted to images in which I could relate to; houses, towns, farms, water, clotheslines, flowers, and trees.

Aside from working on this painting I am in pursuit of a new and much better job. I have applied at Vancouver Island University as a cashier in the cafeteria - not exactly what I want to do but hey, it's a foot in the door. I hope to take some government funded courses and upgrade my office skills. There are regular posting for office support staff at the University and that is where I want to work. As a soon-to-be-single mother of three I need to be on a medical/dental plan. I need a good if not great income for someone who hasn't finished a degree yet and this is the direction I feel will be the best for me for now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I'm waiting on a phone call so I'll throw on a load of laundry and get busy painting.